Monday, May 30, 2011

Judging

I had an interesting weekend. I went out with friends, which was fun, but it turned into one of the worse nights out ever.

A very close friend of mine got extreme intoxicated, which then lead her to be extremely inappropriate. I was actually embarrassed of her and that has never happened to me before. I actually apologized to my other friends for her behavior. In my opinion she went over the line and "cheated" on her husband. You can cheat without having sex. The way she talked and the way she hung on other men, to me equalled cheating. If the tables were turned and her husband was acting in such a way, she would have his bags packed without a question.
I was the designated driver and due to getting home so late, I slept over her house. I was awoke by her and her husband arguing. What was said I am not sure, but when he drove me home in the morning he told me he was done. He told my friend that if she didn't stop drinking he would leave her.  He also asked me to talk to her about it.

How could I do that? I can't judge her. I am no better then she is. The more I thought about it and prayed about it I knew what I had to do. I was not going to judge her, but love her and tell her the truth. She is one of my best friends, but it is a complicated relationship. If and when she is mad at you, it is like being at war, so in the past I would avoid confrintaion at all costs. But enough was enough.

I talked to her and started by saying, "I love you, I am not judging you, but I am worried about you."
I continued to tell her how I saw her become a different person with every drink more and more. I told her I was embarassed by her actions, I told her things she did that she did not remember and I told her in my eyes she cheated on her husband the night before.

I was not judging her I truely have deep concern for her. I believe she is an alcoholic, there have been many situation similar to this, and she is in denial.

We are not to judge others, Matthew 7:1, "Do not judge or you too will be judged" (NIV) however, we are also called as Christians to inform others of their wrong ways and to show them with God's help they can be forgiven and healed; Jonah 1:2,"Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me."

I explained to my friend that she was addicted and that it had a hold on her, but she could over come it. At the same time I was saying these things, God showed me I struggle with other addictions. No one is perfect, and we will never be. All we can do is our best.

I looked at it this way. If I didn't say anything to my friend, didn't offer my love, consern and help and if something were to ever happen to her I would never forgive myself.

Before you open your mouth to correct someone, pray first for guidance.

I contiue to pray for you. Please lift my friend in prayer and anyone who has an addiction.

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