Struggling

Like so many of us, I have been really struggling lately. I actually had a mental break down this past weekend. Everything seemed to come to a head all at the same time. I have really been fighting with my husband, I am struggling with my weight, I am considered obese on standard charts, I have been stressed out with the kids and I have been depressed. I talked with my mom and she confirmed for me I need to have more God and me time. I get caught up very easily with the everyday tasks that my relationship with Jesus has been taking a backseat to everything else. Some days I am not even sure I allow Him in the car with me. I have really been trying to make sure that I pray everyday and ask God for His help. However, it is easy to ask for help, but it is a lot harder to allow Him to. I know I am a control freak. It is really hard for me to let go and let God. My goal this week is to start reading my bible again.
I know it is no coincidence that every time I walk away from Him I am attacked by the depression and anger bug. My priest once said depression is the result of always looking inward. I am really trying to look at the bigger picture and to be grateful for what I do have.
I apologized to my husband for being so mean to him lately. I think it took him by surprise, in a good way. Our marriage has been on the rocks the last couple of months. I actually told him that if we didn't have children I would be gone. It is a scary thought. He works all the time, usually 60 hours a week. What is worse is that he works nights, so it really feels like he is never here. I have been building up this resentment towards him which is totally unjust. He works so hard, so I don't have to and can stay home with the kids. I am really trying to put myself in his shoes. He misses so much with the kids and I know it upsets him. It is hard for me to not get frustrated when he is not here to help with breakfast, getting the kids to school, dinner and bedtime. I am really trying to focus on the gift my children are to me and to cherish the time I have with them.
I pray for all who might be reading this.